Anonymous asked:
reverse mermaids though




328,086 plays

ursorum:

tylersthings:

Forgive me padre for I have siiiiiiinned

I can’t believe someone made a fucking audio post for that stupid deer picture I made. this is unbelievable. I’ve reached a new level of sentience. I am unstoppable. I am the alpha and the omega.



Anonymous asked:
will u tell me a story

officialunitedstates:

"You can’t just ride a bear," she said.  "It’s not built for transportation."

I looked at her cowardly face.  “That’s loser talk,” I said.

She was a bit offended but I didn’t care.  I was going to ride that grizzly bear and I was going to do it today.

"Give me the lasso out of the bag," I ordered.

"No… please, don’t do this."

"That’s loser talk," I said as I ripped the backpack out of her hands. 

The rope was thick and the lasso was heavy, but I had spent every waking hour of my life preparing for this day.  A heavy rope wasn’t going to stop me.

"What if it bites you?" she protested. 

But I wouldn’t listen.  This was my destiny; this was my fate.  I slowly approached the grizzly, rope in hand, my fingers ready to strike. 

I knew it could sense I was coming.  It turned, sniffed the air, and rose up on its hind legs.  He was towering, about a foot taller than me, and had thick brown fur shielding him from the cold.  I only had my $240 North Face jacket.

"Let’s go.  You and me.  It’s game time, you dumb bear," I taunted. 

He slowly turned to face me.  Our eyes met, and he had a twinkle in his eye that looked like a diamond.  It was kind of cute for a bear. 

I readied my lasso.  The time was right.  The wind was settled and the air was clear.  It was now or never. 

But I couldn’t do it.  It was something about the way he tilted his head and stared at me—a sort of innocence and fragility that I had scarcely seen before.  I just couldn’t bring myself to tame such a wild beast.

"I can’t do it…. I can’t fight you, bear," I shouted in tears.

"That’s loser talk," said the bear.





carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

#grANDMOTHER#its me#anaSTASIA (x)

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

 (x)

(Source: peanutbutterandcrack)



dansdom asked:
Denny's, you need to stop trying to make successful text posts.

dennys:

I know, we don’t even have to try. We’re just that good. But thanks for the input! Stay thirsty.





zooophagous:

boujhetto:




Man’s best friend

I like how he picks him up and is all, “There you go!”

fucked his shit up

LMMFAOOOOO

He just puts him over the counter all “Yeah that’s right Sparky you fuck his shit up”

zooophagous:

boujhetto:

Man’s best friend

I like how he picks him up and is all, “There you go!”

fucked his shit up

LMMFAOOOOO

He just puts him over the counter all “Yeah that’s right Sparky you fuck his shit up”

(Source: zennmaister)



People always tell you, ‘Be humble. Be humble.’ When was the last time someone told you to be amazing? Be great! Be great! Be awesome! Be awesome!
Kanye West, American Mozart  (via scumburg)

(Source: betterawittyfool)



heyitspj:

*12 year old voice* i know who you like

(Source: kaname-madoka)




mountains-i-could-move:

heyfunniest:

basically, yes.

I’ve been laughing at this for ten minutes 

(Source: pottergenes)




didney-worl-no-uta:

The life of Gordon Ramsay isn’t an easy one



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